We all know how tedious the self-editing stage of writing can be. You get to the end of your first draft and celebrate—and then realize you have a lot more work ahead of you! From tightening your prose and editing your dialogue to snipping unnecessary words, self-editing is a large task. Entire books have been written about how to make these edits. And one thing many of these books and articles talk about is filter phrases.
This article discusses filter phrases: words and phrases that distance the reader from the narrative and should therefore be avoided. So, when you are editing your rough draft, keep this article and list handy!
Filter phrases are often associated with the senses—touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste. They are also associated with thought and feeling.
An example is “see/saw”, as used in this sentence:
She saw Edward walk toward the bureau.
In this sentence, you are using third person point-of-view, and “She” is the narrator. So, we don’t need “She saw” because it’s already implied that whatever is in the narration is something “She” (the narrator) saw. Therefore, you can change the sentence to:
Edward walked toward the bureau.
See how that tightens up the narrative? We’re no longer filtering experiences through the narrator’s senses; instead, we’re seeing what the narrator sees without having to be told that “the narrator is seeing.”
Let’s look at another example:
As I walk through the garden, I notice butterflies dancing among the lilies.
Do you see the filter phrase here? It’s “I notice”! Here is a better way to write this sentence:
As I walk through the garden, butterflies dance among the lilies.
This a) takes out the filter phrase, and b) creates a stronger verb for the sentence (“butterflies dance”).
Here is a list of common filter phrases to remove from your fiction writing:
- see/saw
- notice/noticed
- watch/watched
- hear/heard
- listen/listened to
- feel/felt
- realize/realized
- think/thought
- wonder/wondered
- believe/believed
- know/knew
Here is one more example:
I wondered why Adelaide couldn’t understand the truth.
“I wondered” is the filter phrase here. How would we rewrite this? Here’s a suggestion:
Why couldn’t Adelaide understand the truth?
As you see, writing out direct thoughts makes more sense than using filter phrases to distance the reader from the experience.
Am I saying that every single filter phrase should be deleted? Not necessarily. There may be a few instances where filtering works—especially if you want to create distance. However, in most cases, these phrases are just not needed.
Tip: Don’t worry too much about these in your first/rough drafts. Many writers use filter phrases without thinking, so don’t let them break your stride! During the self-editing process is when the filter phrases should be spotted and rewritten.
Have you heard of filter phrases before? Which of these do you find yourself using? What other filter phrases can you think of?
Sarah EA Hart 